A true friend is the best possession
— Benjamin Franklin.
Of all relationships, they say, friendship is the strongest. People usually become friends in two ways. First, the bond may be shaped by proximity. Second, the continuing commonality of interests can bring two people close. But even the strongest of bonds breaks at times. Best friends can split over petty issues, misunderstandings and differences of opinion. When you are at the zenith of your career, your friends get to know who you are. However, when you are down in life, you get to know who your true friends are. There is a third kind of friendship that is created by circumstances. There are many instances of two people meeting accidentally, striking a chord and then developing an unbreakable bond of friendship. As we celebrate Friendship Day today, Sunday POST brings you four real-life stories of friendship that were shaped by circumstances.
Siddharth and Saroj
Siddharth Das and Saroj Das are from completely different professions and met by chance when Siddharth’s father was undergoing treatment for cancer at AIIMS, Bhubaneswar. Saroj, an oncologist at AIIMS, was assigned to treat Siddharth’s father. Their first meeting was just another consultation between a doctor and patient’s family. A year-and-a-half later, Siddharth’s father passed away. It was a major setback for Siddharth, but by that time, a new relationship had formed between Saroj and Siddharth. It has been a few years now and today the two are best of friends.
“I don’t remember how we became friends. I used to take my father to the hospital for regular check-ups and chemotherapy. There were two doctors. One was Saroj sir. I used to address him as sir from the first day. But what touched me was the way he used to take care of my father, just like a son. On the day of Rath Yatra in 2016, I called my father, but he was in a coma and could not take my call. Helpless, I rang Saroj sir. He was on leave that day but rushed to the hospital and did everything to help him regain consciousness. When my father died, Saroj sir was a pillar of support. He took the initiative to keep in touch with us. Since then, we have developed a great camaraderie. I don’t stay in Bhubaneswar but every time I am there, we make it a point to catch up. At times, he cancels his appointments only to meet me and spend some quality time,” says Siddharth.
Saroj too considers Siddharth a true friend. “We all need a friend to share our joys and sorrows. There should be someone beyond your profession. It may be dad, mom, wife or a friend. I am a doctor, so I come across many patients and their relatives. At times, I connect with a few patients and then a bond develops. I believe in palliative care. There is a fine line between sympathy and empathy. You should be sympathetic. You should empathise with the person and you need to understand him. This is how I developed an emotional bonding with Siddharth. He is close to my heart. He was very close to his father. I used to console him and ask him to be strong. We started spending hours together discussing things that could be done to help his father recover soon. In the process, I developed a close bonding with him. Once I went with a group of doctors to Digha in Mayurbhanj for a meeting. I messaged Siddharth that I was in Digha. His father was still alive. He insisted that I should visit him at his residence in Charampa, Bhadrak on my way back. My fellow doctors said that there is no point visiting a patient’s home. But we share a strong bond, so I went. He was waiting along with his father to greet me. I am fortunate to have him as my friend.”
Chinmay and Rahul
Chinmay Kar and Rahul Kanungo were loners and their loneliness drew them close and gave shape to their friendship. Chinmay, now a doctor, was in college when he first came across Rahul. Chinmay preferred to stay alone. In his 2nd year of college, he met Rahul through a few common friends. But their meetings thereafter were restricted to a simple exchange of greetings.
“I enjoyed being alone, but after some time it starts killing you. I hardly knew Rahul but could see that he too preferred being alone. Since this gave us ample time, we would often be the first ones to reach the lecture room. We would sit at opposite corners in the vacant classroom listening to music on our mobile phones and waiting for others to arrive,” says Chinmay.
Interestingly, their friendship didn’t start on a pleasant note. Both Chinmay and Rahul were good at writing poetry. Others in the class began comparing their talent. “It’s human nature to become hostile when one meets a similar person with similar capabilities in a new environment. Rahul initially had many friends but had turned a loner like me. I came to know about this and wanted to know to know the reason,” Chinmay says.
One quiet afternoon, Chinmay took the initiative to strike a conversation with Rahul. Since both liked listening to music, it didn’t take long for Chinmay to break the ice. “We spoke about our favourite songs and singers and the conversation continued for hours. It was a very satisfying feeling and I am sure he too felt the same. Within days, we became best of friends and that was noticed by both students and teachers,” says Chinmay.
Three years have passed, and today the two are inseparable. They write poems together and participate in competitions. Today, they have two books of poems to their credit and have won the Swami Vivekananda Excellence Award for their contribution to the field of literature.
“We never had a high opinion about each other. We both were so wrong. Loneliness brought us together and now I feel life is incomplete without Chinmay,” says Rahul.
Shruti and Swati
For Shruti and Swati, friendship started at a job interview. Their bonding strengthened after they joined the same organisation as faculties.
“Being in the same job, holding the same designation, we became each other’s strength. From the day of the interview, we struck a chord. We understand each other so well that even after going into different professions and staying in different places, our friendship is intact,” says Swati.
Shruti stays in Bolangir, while Swati stays in Bhubaneswar, but geographical distance hasn’t become a hindrance in their friendship.
Swati says, “There was a time when I was under stress. I was not on good terms with my boss, as I failed to meet my business target every month. Despite giving 100 per cent, he was not happy with me. I was about to tender my resignation, and I confided in Shruti. Much like an elder sister, she advised me against leaving the job. Instead, she suggested that I should identify the reason behind my failure. I took her words seriously and tried my best to live up to the expectations of my boss. The situation gradually became easier. I could not believe my eyes when my boss walked into my chamber to congratulate me one day. My salary was hiked, and I was promoted. All this happened because of Shruti who gave my morale a boost.”
The two consider themselves sisters. Interestingly, both say that they always had a lot of friends but realised the true meaning of friendship after meeting each other. “I don’t try to make new friends now because Swati fulfills the requirements of all the friends. In fact, she is more than a friend. I remember one day we were on our way to office when a car came from behind and almost hit me. Swati saw it coming and pushed me out of the way and in doing so, she got injured. She is a true friend.”
Debabrata and Dhananjay
Debabrata and Dhananjay were introduced by a mutual friend but it was an unfortunate incident that brought them closer. Debabrata, an animal right activist, says that although he had met Dhananjay on a few occasions, they were just acquaintances.
“I wasn’t close to him. However, I once met with an accident and fractured my leg. I was rushed to the hospital. Surprisingly, none of my friends, who I had considered close, bothered to even get in touch with me. I was undergoing treatment and had to stay in hospital for a long time. Dhananjay learnt about my accident from a common friend and rushed to the hospital. He stayed with me in the hospital and took care of me like my brother,” recalls Debabrata.
He was not only touched but also understood the true meaning of friendship. After he came back home, Dhananjay would visit him regularly. “My father couldn’t look after me because of his professional obligations but Dhananjay never let me feel his absence. He would help me walk. He was there when I needed a friend. Today we are inseparable. He also taught me how to help people selflessly. We recently went to Puri to distribute relief material among the Fani- hit,” he adds.
Dhananjay, who is proud to have a friend like Debabrata, says, “He has done so many things for me. But isn’t that how friends should be? You shouldn’t compare who has been a better friend and who has done the other more favours. Once I had an argument with my father and left home and started staying with Deb. Many of my friends advised me to leave my parents forever but Deb, who was more than happy to have my company in his house, was strictly against the idea. He made me understand the contribution of parents in a child’s life. He took me home and had a discussion with my father following which my father started talking to me. We shared a bitter father-son relationship but thanks to Deb, we are now a big happy family.”
RASHMI REKHA DAS, OP