SOYONG, OP
Metro cities often have a more cosmopolitan approach on many issues, including relationships, according to a survey of matrimonial services in India. The survey reveals interesting facts about marriage preferences among singles in metro cities. Ninety six per cent of singles like a partner from the same religion. However, when it comes to community preferences, 58 per cent singles prefer spouses from their own community while 42 per cent do not have specific community preferences.
Orissa POST interacted with a few women to find out how important the community factor was to them.
“I have to find a perfect groom for my only daughter who is doing her post-graduation. We want to see our daughter stay happy. So we will choose a groom for her irrespective of the community because, nowadays nobody sticks to traditional occupations as per community. But we will ensure religion is the primary factor while choosing a groom,” said Kalyani Bisoi, a homemaker in Bhubaneswar.
“Marriage is no longer a traditional affair as it used to be. The responsibility of finding a right partner has shifted from the family to the individual, and with this, expectations from a future partner have also changed,” the CEO of a matrimonial website said.
Puspalata Bhuyan of Cuttack, a teacher, is of the view that there is nothing wrong in marrying from a different caste. “After all, we are human beings. The colour of our blood is the same. We need not discriminate on the basis of caste which used to be the traditional approach. If you are mentally compatible with someone, you can choose him or her as a life partner. Earlier, people used to adopt hereditary professions as decreed by caste but all that has changed now. My son is doing his bachelor’s degree. He is free to marry a girl from any caste and I will be happy with his decision.”
Binodini Samal of Phulnakhara said, “In our family we adopt a particular culture and style of living which is different from other communities. Although inter-caste and inter-community marriages are common, sometimes such marriages fail due to conflicts over divergent language and cultural backgrounds of the couple. The clashes occur when the individuals are unable to adapt themselves to the culture of the families they are wedded into. The hierarchies in the caste system could also be a factor that affects the success of a marriage.”
Pragyan Priyadarshini of Berhampur said, “Invariably, people choose the same community to ensure cultural compatibility. Different communities have different customs and religious rituals. One has to understand rituals from a philosophical perspective and not from a scientific perspective. When people marry outside their community, they may face problems while observing the rituals and customs. Besides different communities may have different food habits too. Only mutual understanding can help overcome these barriers. But, yes, when minds match, language or culture need not be an obstacle for marriage.”