Melvin Durai
Every now and then, when one of my kids talks back to me with a tone I don’t like, I say to him or her: “You need to show more gratitude and less attitude.”
By “attitude,” I mean “bad attitude,” of course. Good attitude is always welcome, as is an “attitude of gratitude.” I don’t want my kids to be entitled—to feel that they have an innate right to everything that they’ve been blessed with, whether it’s food, clothing, cellphones or Netflix subscriptions. I want them to feel grateful.
Why is gratitude important? Well, ask the Dalai Lama and he will tell you that inner contentment (true happiness) does not come from having all that we want, but from wanting and appreciating all that we have. When you drive your car or ride your motorcycle, are you grateful that you don’t have to take a bus? When you’re riding the bus, are you grateful that you don’t have to walk? When you’re walking, are you grateful that have a good pair of shoes?
Researchers have found numerous benefits to gratitude. According to Glenn Fox, an expert in the science of gratitude at the USC Marshall School of Business in California, “Benefits associated with gratitude include better sleep, more exercise, reduced symptoms of physical pain, lower levels of inflammation, lower blood pressure and a host of other things we associate with better health. The limits to gratitude’s health benefits are really in how much you pay attention to feeling and practicing gratitude.”
Practicing gratitude means expressing it on a regular basis. Thanking people directly is a good way to do this; another way is to write down everything you’re thankful for. Some people write daily lists such as “Ten Things I’m Thankful for Today.” This is a good habit, even better than writing lists such as “Ten Things I’d Like to Own” or “Ten Reasons I Hate My Parents.”
If you’re having trouble coming up with reasons to be thankful, here are some of my suggestions:
Be thankful if you have food on your plate, if you aren’t constantly hungry, if you don’t lick your lips whenever you spot a Zomato driver.
Be thankful if you have a reliable source of clean water, if you have enough to drink, cook your food, or even take an occasional bath.
Be thankful if you have freedom of worship, if you can attend a church, temple or mosque without the slightest fear, if you can decorate your car with pictures of anyone you worship, even Virat Kohli.
Be thankful if you have access to good healthcare, if you can see a doctor anytime you wish, if your doctor didn’t get medical training through the Internet.
Be thankful if you have a loving family, if they accept you the way you are, if they’re trying hard to forget the way you were.
Be thankful if you have no serious addictions, if you can survive an entire week without smoking, drinking or sniffing, if you show no signs of withdrawal, not even when visiting the bank.
Be thankful if you have a decent job, if it comes with many benefits, if the best benefit isn’t free counseling after the boss harasses you.
Be thankful if you have a roof over your head, if the roof is wide enough to cover all your belongings, if your belongings don’t include a bucket that you use whenever it rains.
Be thankful if you have a means of transportation, if you can take your family on a long trip to the countryside, if the trip refreshes their souls and doesn’t wear out their soles.
Be thankful if you appreciate what you have, if you don’t take your blessings for granted, if you spend part of your life — even a small part — helping others less fortunate.