How many times have we all heard this statement? There are women who have given up jobs to look after their families. They have sacrificed their aspirations and career goals for the sake of family. In return, however, they get the tag of ‘unemployed.’ In a conversation with Orissa POST, some women speak of how staying at home was expected of them post-marriage, or after the birth of a child. Others describe how they were looked down upon for choosing to quit successful careers and stay at home to manage their households. But one thing must be accepted: the “unemployed” and “homemaker” labels come replete with preconceived notions.
Soumyasri Das (name changed), who was a journalist, says, “I was in a good position and earning well. However, when I delivered my second child, it became difficult for my in-laws to look after my two kids. Though I did not want to quit my job, I had to do it for the sake of my family. I don’t feel good that I have to be at home even though I have aPhd in English. That apart, I find the words housewife or homemaker really insulting for someone as educated as me.”
She adds: “Everywhere we see that women are primarily looked upon as mothers and daughters-in-law. In the case ofa woman, it does not seem to matter thatshe does well at work, it seems more important that she does well as a family woman. Nowadays men do help with housework, but it is expected that women will take care of family members and the household chores. While at work, she is expected to enquire if the child has eaten or is well. The father, it seems, is not expected to fulfill any of these responsibilities. Everyone forgets that every woman also has dreams of her own.”
Smruti Rekha Das Bhanja, who used to be a school teacher, says, “It is really difficult for working women to meet the expectations of both family and employer. It’s difficult but achievable. In my circle, it’s more socially acceptable to be a good wife, mother and daughter-in-law. People assume that a working woman cannot raise her children properly and her home will be a mess. I decided to quit my job after going through such situations. However, thanks to my husband’s support,I started working again after my son started school. But during the period I was unemployed, I was depressed.”
Kalyani Singh, who worked as an assistant professor at Orissa University of Agriculture and Technology, says, “Being a mother, it was my foremost duty to look after my newborn. After all, she was and is my responsibility. I had to quit my job. I did not hesitate to do it because I know it is important for a mother to take care of the baby in the formative years. I will look for a job when my baby turns four.”
She further explains: “Everyone thinks that bringing up a child is entirely a mother’s responsibility and that is not fair. It doesn’t matter whether there are other family members staying with the child while the mother goes to work. We have to get rid of this kind of mentality. These days, it is not necessary to go to office if you want to earn. In a technically advanced world, there are many work-from-home options that can help us earn while being at home.”
RASHMI REKHA DAS, OP