Touching feet is not the only way to show respect to the elders, keeping aside the smartphones is also considered quite respectful these days!
This internet meme on smartphone addiction is gaining good traction on social media in recent times as phubbing is gradually becoming the new normal of our social life.
However, not too many people connect with the term ‘phubbing’ even as it has been over a decade since the word was coined by an Australian advertising firm.
A combination of two words ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’, phubbing is the awkward practice of totally ignoring those around in favour of scrolling a mobile device.
With people’s increasing reliance on smartphones, almost everyone now can relate to this phenomenon. This prevailing practice of prioritizing phone over offline interaction is all set to destroy the fabric of social structure.
Earlier it was only the youths who used to succumb to smartphone addiction. But in the post-pandemic era, the kids, after being exposed to smartphones through their online classes, are now the new victims.
Not just the kids or youths, the elderly population is also spending hours on their phones instead of getting involved in other healthy practices.
With phubbing fast becoming trend, a few well known psychiatrists share with SundayPOST its impact and how to overcome it.
Phubbing and Kids
Eminent psychiatrist Dr Samrat Kar says the children are the primary victims of phubbing which affects them both physically and psychologically. It begins with spoiling their eyesight at an early age. Besides, they stay away from outdoor activities which are essential for their physical growth.
It’s not only the kids, studies reveal that half of the working population consume unwanted social media posts which always negatively affect productivity, says Kar.
“Phubbing is a symptom but you can call it a disease if it causes social and occupational impairment,” he adds.
—–Speed breaker in marital journey
Dr Kar continues: “This addiction often plays the role of a speed breaker in martial journey. The bond between a couple gets weaker if a partner, more often than not, is found occupied with a smartphone. Being physically present and showing affection are integral to a happy married life. But it is getting affected by the infatuation with the virtual world.”
—–Elderly people no exception
Kar says, phubbing has become part of most senior citizens’ post retirement behavioral transformation. Because of a major routine change, they have been found spending most of their time with mobile phones, which results in detachment from the family. Another major issue about this is that networking creates a lot of issues for them. When they are required to go out for walks and seek solace in other good practices, they engage themselves with phones. Most people above 60 years of age come to him for getting constant anxiety attacks, adds the psychiatrist.
—–The way out
We need to replace it with a better substitute. The children of this age need to be taught about the physical interaction and vitality of communication. They need to be taught about the value of visiting families and keeping touch with them and should be given an absolute replacement for mobile phones. A good 20-30 years back, parents used to recite poems and read out stories to their children. They used to share their experiences from their younger times. This is high time; they needed to reverse the clock.
—–Virtual world, the new comfort zone
Famous psychiatrist Dr Amrit Pattajoshi says, “It is one of the most unattended issues, yet the most vulnerable one. The behavior might not be a big deal but it definitely is one which destroys relationships along with mental health”.
Pattajoshi adds, “Getting disconnected from the real world has become the new comfort zone for people. Interaction with the physical and social world has decreased. People are spending more time over the phone by creating a virtual surrounding and searching solution to their problem in the virtual world. Students are more dependent on the internet to get quick answers to the questions rather than studying from books and acquiring more knowledge. This leads to worsening of interpersonal relationships with friends, family and neighborhood.”
Asked if social exclusion leads to phubbing or the other way round, Pattajoshi says, “It is the same question as what came first – egg or the chicken. Mostly people who remain socially isolated either by exclusion or by self take the help of the virtual world and engage themselves in various activities which may not reflect their true self to the outside world. Similarly people spending their time on mobile devices engage themselves so much in the virtual world that they automatically get socially excluded from the surrounding or family members and friends.”
—-Damage repair
Asked on how to overcome the situation, he suggests, “What could help in depleting the damage caused is a decrease in screen time, by increasing socialization and taking out time for meeting up with friends. No mobile usage during dining and while going to bed. By spending time with family and having quality conversations to know things about each other. Students should avoid screens during study hours and refer to books to solve problems rather than finding quick solutions through the internet.”
Pattajoshi also advises parents not to use smartphones while feeding kids, which is a common practice in most households. “Distraction of the child while feeding will not allow the child to have adequate sensory stimulus of the food. They will have food but will have no interest in understanding what food they are having. Their mouth is engaged in feeding but their eyes are distracted with the visual stimulus of the food. Increase in screen time during the early development will engage the child in virtual worlds and thus will decrease his socialization which in future may cause issues in learning language and motor skills.”
—–Disconnection with real world
Dr. Subhankar Swain, a Sambalpur-based psychiatrist, says, phubbing is the root cause of all types of relationship issues these days.
“The biochemical changes are the result of excessive use of smartphones. Short term content like reels and shorts are rampant these days. Such content stimulate our brain and release a chemical called dopamine, which gives us a pleasurable sensation or kick. With time the greedy brain demands more and more dopamine and we are hooked to our screens for hours,” points out Swain.
He continues: “For many people the behavioral pattern of checking and scrolling the phone stays even when we are with our loved ones and friends. Without talking and communicating verbally the person stays glued to his phone. The phubbing behavioral pattern results in communication problems, misunderstandings and a disconnection with the real world.”
Swain, sharing his experience, recalls “I’ve seen two people sitting in a restaurant looking at their phones, for hours. I’ve seen parents busy with their phones and the child crying for attention. While it seems innocuous at the beginning, long term phubbing can result in separation, heartbreaks and conflicts.”
His one line advice to the phubbers is – Less time on the phone means more time having meaningful conversations which ultimately benefit our mental health, our sense of connection and belonging.
Box
Let’s stop phubbing
Here go a couple of approaches for controlling phubbing behavior and helping close ones to overcome it.
No-phone zones
Parents, couples, friends, and friend groups can decide among themselves to spend certain times together that are phone free. This might be a walk, a meal, or morning coffee together.
Turn off notifications
The sounds that smartphones make automatically trigger the compulsion to check the phone. Therefore, turn off notifications for emails, social media updates, texts after workhours.
Excuse yourself
If you feel the compulsion to use your phone, remove yourself from the conversation or group first. This way, you’re not snubbing someone who’s sitting right in front of you.
Share phubbing woes
If you are the victim of phubbing, talk to the other person about it. Specifically, let them know that you feel hurt and ignored. If they are phubbing you because they feel uncomfortable or awkward, they might not realize how their behavior is affecting you. Thus, this realization can encourage them to put the phone aside. Moreover, it might lead to an important conversation about the relationship.
Source: Newportacademy.com