With rapidly changing lifestyles, parenting has become a challenging task these days. Striking a balance between parenting duties and work puts parents, especially mothers, under tremendous stress. They often lose their cool and yell at the kids. This is quite common in many households, and Orissa POST spoke to some mothers to find out how they handle parenting pressures.
Maitree Das, a homemaker from Bhubaneswar, says mothers sometimes get angry as they often work upto 18 hours a day in many middle-class families. “My son Chichi is a stubborn kid. He gives me a tough time when tasked with some work and I do get irritated. But I also understand that he is a kid and does not realise my problems. Things can become easier if the father chips in to handle the kids. However, I don’t shout at my son and do not support people who yell at their children. It is essential to maintain your cool while dealing with kids. Earlier, I used to get angry easily when Chichi would not eat properly or finish his homework. But now I have discovered better methods to deal with him.”
Like Maitree, Pravati, who works as a lecturer, is the mother of a single child. She says, “My son Soham studies in Class V. Like most single kids, he also used to be stubborn. Besides, he was spoilt by other family members as he is the first child of his generation in the family. As a small child, he would not eat his breakfast in time, so I had to spend a lot of time with him and I would reach my workplace late. I often got angry with him. But that would make things worse and make him difficult to handle. Soon I realised that I would have to change my attitude to make life easier, as his father couldn’t spend much time with him. Before things got out of hand, we discussed the matter and the situation changed for the better.”
“We both realised that parental anger can be harmful for growing kids. You need to discipline your children, but you should not express your anger every time. Don’t compare them with other kids and don’t scold them for every mistake. That only makes things worse. Spend quality time with your children and find tactful ways to make them understand,” says Pravati.
Anger is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it works, but at times it makes things so complex that it becomes difficult to handle a kid, says Sibani Sinha, a teacher of VSS Nagar UGUP School, Bhubaneswar. “As a teacher, I deal with a large number of kids every day. I understand that getting angry doesn’t help matters. I maintain my cool at home too. Parent-teacher meets are held regularly in the school where many parents come with a list of complaints against their wards. As a teacher, I make it a point to tell the parents that they should deal with their kids in such a manner that they feel free to share every detail of their life with their parents. It is not wise to scold and scare them as that only makes kids hide serious issues.”
BRATATI BARAL, OP