RISING IN LOVE

Falling in love is easy but keeping the intensity up for long is not. Therefore, marriage is not always the ultimate success of a romantic association. Moreover, couples face the real challenges once the initial thrill is gone. Overcoming them and trying for mutual growth, not career-related in particular, perhaps is the real love which stands the test of time. A few renowned couples share with Sunday POST the secret behind their eternal spark

‘The secret is there is no secret’

With more than 180 films, most of them as main lead, and an enviable possession of seven State Film Awards and five Filmfare Awards(East) in a career spanning over 30 years, actor Siddhanta Mahapatra is certainly one of the brightest stars to shine on the firmament of Odia cinema. He has ruled the industry for nearly two decades and is considered among the most dependable actors even now.
On the other hand, Mama Mishra, before foraying into Odia cinema, was in awe of her hubby, then the quintessential heartthrob of Odisha. She, like millions of other girls of her time, too was star-struck and had a huge crush on him. Setting her home with the hottest stars of Odia film industry at that time was not even in her thoughts. But as they say you never know when the cupid will strike you.

The arrow struck the duo in 2004 and they agreed to share the roof for the rest of their lives. Since then, every day has been a day of celebration making Siddhanta-Mama one of the most ideal celebrity couples in Odisha.
Asked about the secret, Siddhanta, the two-time Lok Sabha MP from Berhampur said, “The secret is there is no secret between us. From the day we tied the knot, till now, we have zero secrets. Hiding things from your spouse means all is not well. In our case, the trust factor is beyond 100 %. At no point of time, we ever felt that we are not satisfied with each other’s love and attention.”

He goes on to add: “Besides, we always keep things simple which helps us lead a stress-free life and maintain harmony. Please remember, life is a simple straight line but people often make it complicated. Be truthful, have mutual respect, complement each other for every little thing like we do and you will find life to be an incredible journey.”

Narrating Mama’s value in his life, the actor says: “Had she not been around, I couldn’t have nowhere near where I am today. I owe a lot to her for whatever I have achieved in life.”
Mama, on the other hand, says she still feels the kind of crush she had on Siddhanta when she made her debut in Prashanta Nanda’s Bapa in 1997.

“For me, he has not changed a bit and the attraction has only increased with the passage of time. I have acted in 11 films, nine of them with him. I had no plan for a career in films. So, I strongly believe that it was destiny which brought me into films only to become his co-pilot in life’s journey,” shared the actress who blushes every time Siddhanta is discussed.

Mama, for whom the world begins and ends with Siddhanta, further says, “He is a kind of man one can only dream about. His discipline in life and punctuality is infectious. I don’t remember celebrating Valentine’s Day. With him, every day is Valentine’s Day for me and what else can I ask for?”

‘We have 365 V’days in a year’

He had reservations about love. But she was very romantic. He was from a rural and lower economic background while she was an urban girl. He was short and she was tall. He didn’t like travels and novels but she was all into trips and books. He was cool and she was impatient, he was fussy about food and she was a foodie.
Novelist, poet and educationist Hiranmayee Mishra and Arun Kumar Nayak, principal of Udaynath Autonomous College of Science and Technology, may seem like poles apart, but the feelings developed between them is only getting stronger with the time.

“We don’t remember saying ‘I love you’ to each other. In fact, he never has said this till date. Our times were all about writing letters and seeing each other from a distance. We were waiting just for a glance. I was writing long letters and getting very short responses. I used to give him very colourful greeting cards and I still doubt whether he has read all those romantic words written inside or not, but we were in love,” says Hiranmayee.
She still fails to believe how she dared to leave her parents, her sweet home only for her love and to
be lost.

“We were two naive idiots with absolutely no money in our pockets, just hearts pumping out love. The starting days were very difficult. For me, it was like a do or die situation. I had to prove that what I did was right. Hailing from a very cultured family it was hard for me to accommodate in a family where no one was really welcoming. From being around a loving family it suddenly became a ‘one man world’ for me. Everything was going wrong except our hearts.”

Asked about the factors that have cemented their bond for nearly three decades, she says, “I strongly believe that love conquers all hurdles and I have been madly in love with him always, more so when life has put a question mark before me. I trust that love is the greatest power in existence. A phase came in my life when I was feeling I had no dreams at all. That’s the time; he motivated me to push boundaries. My daughter was too small when I qualified for an International fellowship for pursuing a PhD overseas. I couldn’t imagine going abroad leaving my daughter here. This was the time when Arun stood by me like a rock and insisted that I must do a PhD and fulfill my father’s wish. Ah! What a difficult decision! He took the decision and I just followed. He took care of his elderly parents, our six year old daughter and the home. He made me feel how love can overcome everything and can magnificently transform intricate situations to better.”

She continues: “He never expresses his love, but I say it in thousands of ways. I have felt his love which has covered my life like a blanket. For us, each day of living together is LOVE. We have 365 Valentine’s Days in a year.”
Quoting her favourite poet Maya Angelou Hiranmayee signs off, “Suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and we will ever be, yet it is love which sets us free.”

Arun, a man of fewer words, on how their bonding stood the test of time, says, “I think people who believe in fairy tale love stories find difficulties in facing the realities of life. I think, for us life is a continuous expedition of trust and love is the navigator. I respect her and trust her absolutely. So, she knows that I love her, no need to say it in words. The most beautiful and divine feelings of life are better left unexpressed.

‘Love is a tireless quest’

Pabitra Mohan Dash, a well known poet, novelist and critic, commands a strong fan base in Odisha and other states. Over the years, he has been transformed from a firebrand romantic poet to a wordsmith whose works reflect the reality of his time and living. On the other hand, wife Manamayee DashRath is a poet and painter. She is an archetypal committed and fanatic lover who can’t look beyond Pabitra. From the outside, they look so different but with a close look one can feel tides of emotion they share.
Pabitra says, “To me love is the drop in which one can find the entire ocean. It is not something to be quantified. There is no less love or more love.

There is either love or lovelessness. To me it is a tireless quest.”
Talking about the secret behind the eternal spark, the English lecturer of Shastri Smruti Degree Mahavidyalay says, “The only secret in love is that there is no secret. Everything is open. I believe that relationships are the mirror through which we see each other’s faces. So to maintain the relationship one needs to be subdued. By subduing the movement of togetherness happens. So I observe her as a manifestation. The observation resists me from being judgemental. Most of the time we try to find what love is not instead of searching for what love is. I believe that love demands complete detachment. It is non-attachment that generates passion in me. That awareness gives a sense of intimacy. Love is like sunlight which shows no partiality in shining on. So I toil to trace out the spots of darkness within me. It is understanding that helps us to nourish love. Yes, it is understanding but not adjustment.”

Pabitra was beyond her expectations in many ways when she started searching for a companion life, says Manamayee, the principal of St. Xavier’s Kids, Baliput, Puri.
“His calm demeanor, profound wisdom, fearless attitude, encyclopedic memory and immense poetic talent were an extraordinary realisation for me. I was head over heels to have him in my life. He was not just matching my imagination but way beyond that and irresistible. I try to be like the bride of his choice even after two decades tying the
knot,” she said.

Manamayee just loves everything about Pabitra which is the cornerstone of their bonding. “He always holds my hand as my best friend but also makes me understand like my father used to do. He is also the one who cares for my childishness and understands my vulnerability. Often I feel the almighty has dropped me in his world to test his patience and resilience. He appears quite common to many but I have seen the extraordinary spirit that has made him what he is today. I can’t define love but seeing him in joy for me is the ultimate success of falling in love,” she concluded.

Bijay Mandal, OP

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